There are a lot of Christian single NOT dating, but why?
Why has the common date become such a rare thing? The comments rolled in, and some fantastic conversation came of it.
Three big-picture themes emerged as to why dating is on hold for a lot of single Christians today:
THEY HAVE UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS.
One of the most common things that many singles reported experiencing from the opposite sex is the unrealistic standard of what they’re looking for in a relationship. Men are looking for a cross between an evangelist and the next top model, while the women are looking for a Holy Ghost filled Idris Elba. While there is nothing completely wrong with wanting a very attractive mate, there should be some stipulations that the bar can be adjusted on. There’s a false standard that we’ve perpetuated and let’s just put this out there: No one is measuring up.
It’s important to have our standards of character, integrity and morals when it comes to a dating relationship—but could it be that in the name of “not settling” some have confused their preferences for our needs? Maybe it’s time to prioritize our needs from their wants, and consider pursuing someone that might typically be considered “outside of our usual type.”
THEY AREN’T BEING ASKED.
There’s definitely a fear culture surrounding the topic of asking someone out on a date. Nowadays people are so paralyzed by fear, failure and rejection. It’s almost as though we’re so afraid to fail that we’d rather not even try. In fact, the majority of singles reported that when it comes to dating: Is fear stoping the question from leaving the lips?
If the majority is not asking, that also means the majority is not dating.
It's time to exchange your fear for faith, and take the necessary steps to get healthy and then seek out a healthy relationship.
THEY’RE HAVING A HARD TIME MEETING ONE ANOTHER.
This is a really legitimate concern, and one in which hopefully the Church will listen and begin to fill the needs of this present generation. Too many churches are not offering a way for their singles to meet—leaving them to fend for themselves with things like social media, online dating and everything in between in an attempt to meet.
If dating was not so taboo then it would be more churches with an answer. The church should concentrate on introducing what a Christian date should look like and what type of mate to avoid. By having and sharing these conversations, men and women in leadership will realize that the 25-plus singles are truly a neglected demographic within the Church—and then do something about it.
Leaders should do their part to build bridges and opportunities and create the right atmosphere for Christian singles to feel comfortable with asking questions, starting a group, initiate a conversations, to help those who are striving to one day be married Christians in the body of Christ.